How I spent my time alone in the woods

A few weeks ago I went alone to a cabin in the woods. Two evenings spent tending the fire, looking out the windows, listening to CDs, listening to the birds, reading, watching the light fade behind the trees, waking with the light, and one long long day to be outside on my own, to walk, to split wood, and to try out my new pinhole camera.

I’m not sure what I was expecting, from being alone out there. But it was strange, how very unstrange it felt. How it just felt perfectly normal at the same time as still feeling quite special. No epiphanies, just a nice quiet time amongst the trees that I absolutely needed.

I lost track of time, but I also recorded time. Kept a diary. Here you go.

Wednesday 10th April

18:55 - I arrived here at 4pm. I have already cooked and eaten my dinner. (pasta, mushrooms, chilli pesto, plenty of cheese) I had a sturdy fire going but I’m letting it go down a bit as it’s got very warm in here. Drinking margaritas from a tin cup. I can hear the woods. Birds. A woodpecker. Gentle spatter of rain. The light is starting to fade.
From my two corner windows, from the bed, I can see trees. Five silver birches. And plenty of others I can’t name. In front of the cabin the ground drops away, and beyond the treeline is a field, bright in the last of the light. Inside the cabin, the bed takes up the whole of one end. The wood stove next to it, a table to my right, a small kitchen counter. The bathroom takes up the other end. There is a CD player, a selection of 5 CDs, a lantern, a bag of firewood. It’s nice not having a lot of things around me. I’ve hidden my own things under the table. I have already washed up and tidied the kitchen. I have finished my margarita and am wondering if I will have another. If I should listen to a CD, or read a book, or just sit and look out the window.

19:16 - Decided to put on a CD. Decided to listen to what was already in the machine - The Beatles “Let It Be, Outtake Highlights”. I think maybe now might be the time to get into the Beatles.

19:51 - I am now listening to the birds: blackbird, wren, robin.

19:57 - Now listening to the best of REM and watching the light fade.

20:16 - It is nearly dark. It is basically, dark.

21:20 - Ready for bed. I have double-checked the fire is properly out. It is. I have a cup of tea and am about to read. “Checkout 19” by Claire-Louise Bennett. And then I will sleep.

Thursday

07:30 - Awake and up trying to get a fire going. The kindling is still damp. I’ve got a cup of tea and a pack of chocolate digestives.

09:30 - I’ve been drinking tea outside on the porch, thinking about how nice it is to be able to walk straight out of a front door into the woods first thing in the morning. I spoke to R on the phone for a bit, and now I am dressed and ready and going for a walk.

09:35 - My phone needs charging, and I need my phone for the map so I don’t get lost, so I’m not going yet. Splitting wood for tonight’s kindling instead.

10:30 - Went for a walk. I walked to Hammer Pond, and around to the other side. I saw the monastery, saw the weir, overhead power lines glitching in the water, buddhas in the trees, a wood anemone. Took some photos of myself responding to the shapes of trees and ferns. I also photographed every fork in the path and every gate, and distinctive tree to record the way back because I didn’t quite trust in the map and the phone signal, so now my photo stream is full of photos like this

and this

and this

and I did not get lost.

12:00 - Back at the cabin now, sitting outside, and just had something to eat. Slice of bread, avocado, Double Decker. Getting a bit cold. Going to put my boots back on and set up the pinhole camera.

17:48 - Back indoors now. Got a cup of tea and the fire going. I’ll make dinner in a bit. I’ve spent the last five hours with the Pinsta. I took four photos. The first came out very over-exposed. 35 minutes was too long. It came out far too bright but it really did not matter because opening up the camera that first time to reveal a photograph that had been developed right there in the woods, standing in the place where it had been taken, was exciting enough. I went with my gut and chose 15 minutes for the next attempt and it came out like this..

That’s the path leading to the cabin. I like how the birch trees are glowing. I love how the edges of the frame are spilling into the branches. I love this camera. It’s immediately my new favourite.

Here’s another 15 minute exposure. It’s a double self-portrait, if you can make it out, I’m there, leaning forward reading (“In Watermelon Sugar”) and then also leaning back against the tree not reading, and listening to the birds.

And a 15 minute self-portrait listening to “No Motion Picture” by Eberhard Weber. The exposure was 15 minutes, but the song is 19:38 long. My face is blurred because I couldn’t get my head comfortable resting against the tree trunk. Motion picture.

I have had a beautiful day.

My fire is going nicely. I will drink my tea and write some notes and then cook dinner. Same as last night. Might not bother with the mushrooms. Might bother.

I pratted about to Belle and Sebastian while the pasta cooked. I ate my dinner. I heard a sound outside and for a while thought maybe someone was out there in the woods looking in. I closed the blinds and decided that wasn’t true. I drank tea and read more of Checkout 19 which is an excellent book. I wrote my diary. At some point I went to bed and slept soundly.

Friday

I woke at 6 and opened up the blinds and watched the trees for a while. Got the fire going and the kettle on, and started to pack. Got the place in order and went for a short walk, and spent the last of my time with the pinhole again. It was sunnier today, I had to guess at new exposure times. I got one nicely exposed shot, then there was just enough time to get the last bits packed away and back in their places and then at 11, R came to collect me.

Ghost flowers

Took the Pinsta out again, down to the garden of the gallery where I work. These are unevenly developed, yes, and the chemicals were tired and the flowers were blowing about in the wind and I like all of that.

Rhythm practise

My loft//studio space now has a wonderful new drum kit majestically installed right next to my desk and I’ve found this is working out quite nicely.. because I’ll go up to play the drums and end up doing some work, or I’ll go up to do some work and end up having a good practise session instead. My procrastination has been tricked! I went up yesterday to practise, and the typewriter was still out from something I was doing last week so I ended up doing some of this instead.

The Hum across the Fifth Continent

Yes, of course I have a thing about Dungeness. And a thing about pylons. I am a cliché.

But Dungeness is a truly special place. We stayed a few days for my birthday last year, and so got to spend a good time walking. One day we walked out into the shingle desert beyond the power station and the power lines, the silence and the sun beating down relentlessly intense. It was nice. We ate bread and cheese in the shade of the only tiny stand of trees out there, and wished we’d brought more water and some sunscreen.

So a few weeks ago I was having a very unproductive and frustratingly slow day in the studio, trying too hard and not really liking anything I was doing and really starting to question a lot of things. I was giving up, starting to pack up and then found a tetrapak plate I’d completely forgotten I’d made the day before, drawn from a photograph taken on that walk. I had half an hour to be cleared up and out of there but I wanted to see what it might look like. So I made two very hasty dirty prints on scrap paper, made without thought or any due care and attention to inky fingerprints, and this one came out like this and I like it.

Sill trying

I have been working on this print on and off for the last few months. It’s proving tricky to get the exposure times right. And I’m not the most methodical person, so my experimenting is a bit slap-dash. I might be getting closer though..

Experiments in cyanotype

My phone gave up the ghost last week. I cannot describe the overwhelming feeling of joy and relief when I saw that flashing glitching apple logo. I've had seven glorious days of freedom. No email, no text messages, no to do list reminders, no alarms, and no surprises. I've read so much. I've done my work. I've got so much work done.

Here's a quick and scrappy cyanotype from the end of a long day of experimenting. I've been working on another image for the last few weeks but it's taking longer than expected to get right and I was starting to get impatient so I did a quick test print of this negative instead just to see how it might come out. Took a guess at a 14 minute exposure. The highlights are a bit blown out, so I decided to stick it in a bath of tea.. All a bit slapdash, I think the tray might probably have had some soap in it which might explain these errant blue blotches. Which I kind of like. And the vertical stripes are from the print lying facedown on the bottom of the tray and not enough agitation. I guess they shouldn't be there either. But I like the glitches. And I really like the colour of the toning. Iron gall. I shall write a bit about the science and history behind that at some point.

Anyway. This is a rock from Rannoch Moor in Scotland floating above Lindisfarne, Holy Island in Northumberland.